


Must Go Alone

by Daerwyn



Series: A Collection of Drabbles by Helmaninquiel [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Helm's Deep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5089079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daerwyn/pseuds/Daerwyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine the moment in Helm’s Deep after the battle, when Aragorn tells you that Haldir, your love, has died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Must Go Alone

You felt the despair hit you long before Aragorn nodded. And though you had only known the ranger for less than a century, you knew he spoke the truth. Your heart was almost certain that it would pinpoint the very moment your dear love had died.

You had been helping defend the women and children, a few elderly, away from the frontline of the battle, but your March Warden had been in the very front, had been on the top of the walls, where the Orcs had been climbing. You only knew because you could hear the elvish orders being shouted – even now you could hear them.

“How?” you felt yourself whisper.

“Lady Y/N, perhaps you should rest for a moment, you are suffering from a great loss and-”

“How?” your voice was firmer, more desperate, and the half-man sighed, closing his eyes, in a resigned manner. You had to know. You would not rest until you knew.

“He fought to the very last moment,” Aragorn said quietly. Oh, the stars. You squeezed your eyes shut, as if you could take back the words. “He died with your name on his lips.” And though you knew he was waiting for you in the Undying Lands of Valinor, you could not help the cry that left you as you sank to the ground. Aragorn caught you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. “It is because of him that we won this battle today.”

But they were not words you cared to hear. You just cared to hear that he was alive, well, sitting in the bedroom in your home in Mirkwood, ready with a brush for your daughter’s hair and a story for your son – still an infant in Elven standards. Or ready for you, standing by the ancient stream with a mischievous glint in his eye. Ready to shove you in and laugh as you pulled him in with you. Ready for him to whisper your name as he would return from battle or his duties on the guard, holding you close with as much tenderness and love he could physically carry. And ready for him to listen to your newest song on the harp or for you to watch as he would craft arrows for your bow, showing them to you for approval.

But the despair lingered, holding you and not letting go, no matter how much you wished it would.

“I will ride with you to Lorien, if you wish. He was a good elf, a brave man, and someone I was honored to call a friend,” Aragorn said quietly. “And it is a sad day that he has fallen-”

“No,” you whispered. “No, our battle is not yet done.” Aragorn helped you to your feet, his arm holding your own to steady you. You wish nothing more than for Haldir to step down from the battlements, and to hold you close. “I will not leave when there is more yet to be fought-”

“And I would agree with you, Y/N, but you have two children at home that are waiting for you to return. Return back with your men to Lorien, and take with you the fallen for their burials.” You shut your eyes. You could not bear to see him, gone from life. With no star to touch him. But you must, for if you did not see him one last time, it would be ages before you saw him again. “Your children deserve you to live. Your children are not yet old enough to support themselves.”

You nodded after a moment, but had one request. “I need to see him-”

“My Lady, it is best you do not-” You met his gaze, and Aragorn sighed. “He’s at the top of the stairs. They will begin moving the bodies soon.” You shuffled in the direction, but Aragorn did not let go of your arm.

“I must do this alone, my friend. You meant… a great deal to Haldir. He considered you a good friend.”

“And I him.” You just nodded, and took a deep breath, hoping to find some strength still buried within you. And you continued quietly up the stairs, your heart pounding in dread for the moment your beloved appeared. You could not bear it. But you had to. Because someone had to sit the children down and tell them of all the brave, heroic things their father had done, and the good in the world that he had died for.


End file.
